Afraid To Be Loved: An Empowerment Poem

You don't know what you put me through. 

leading me on the way you do.

I thought you cared but obviously thats not true.

married six years and now you think its a mistake.

How can you be so undecisive?

How can you be so cruel? How can you focus on playing me for the fool?

To take my love for granted, then play it so cool. 

Then tell me that you never wanted or needed me. Where is the time and place I SHOULD be.

Then you moved out on a whim. Said you couldn't be with me anymore...

As soon as you left. I was at peace again. Living a lie was too hurtful. No shameful...

Several months pass by. You are still living that lie. Inviting me over for "secret rendevous" and share things only you and I share, yet cannot give me a kiss 'good night'. 

You seem to be living it up. Living a 'free-mans' life even though you are not. Calling it cheating is fair. I saw you chatting with a girl. You shared intimate photos with her of your privacy. Telling her that you can't wait to see her again, yet are sleeping in my bed. 

You are tied by paper and by vows. 

"To love, honor, cherish and obey... in sickness and in health... til death do us part..." Remember that? 

You say it was a mistake... On YOUR part. But how can you know it was a mistake, unless, you didn't mean it in the first place? 

Then there's that unanswered question of Why would you make life-altering decisions based on what you can get from me? 

I gave you everything. Every part of me... 

when I had nothing left to give, you had a change of heart. You took me for granted, and  closer is what I need.

Months have passed, now you moved back home. Living like nothing has happened... 

What do you expect me to do?

 I say "lets have a divorce..." you say, "We can't afford it..." I know thats a luxury we can't afford... I'm telling you now that

I cannot live a lie. I cannot waste my time, and I cannot cry at night because my heart is too happy. 

I know there is someone out there who loves me more than you ever could. 

I know someone would hug me and kiss me the way you never would. Someone would treat me like I'm the only woman in the world, and someone who is not afraid to loved.

By Linda Dawkins